What If They Don't Get It?

I was supposed to watch a replay of my favorite show and get to bed but I felt the urge….so here I am, pondering points and wondering where to go next. Something that I have struggled with is whether or not people will get Lives Lived. What if I write this story that no one really understands? It is difficult subject matter. Not exactly beach reading material.

So what is the story about? Well, Lives Lived is about a woman struggling to find her place in the world. She happens to have bipolar illness, a mental condition that many people have a great deal of misconceptions about. I wonder if people will understand what I am trying to convey in this story. It can be difficult to fully grasp what is going on if you are unfamiliar with the condition. There are plenty of memoirs out there but I don’t know that I’ve read a really good portrayal of a person that has bipolar illness in fiction. Of course, every person has a different experience. There are varying degrees and a number of treatment regiments. In fact, the other day I met a girl who told me she had bipolar illness. She told me that her life was completely messed up. She was taking Depakote, a drug that generally causes weight gain in women. She was crying and very upset because she seems to be unable to lose weight. When I tried to talk to her about the situation she cut me off and told me that there was no hope. It was a painful interaction. The thing is, there is so much hope and so many different things that can be done. As long as you are willing to listen and learn there is a chance that you can completely change a potentially devastating situation.

What I want to make sure people understand is that bipolar illness is just like any other ailment. You have your good days and your bad. You learn how to cope with the moods and find out what your triggers are. Days when you want to die will come and if you can tell yourself that they will go, things will get better. The people around you will be confused and often put you in categories and classes but there will be a few that understand. It is not good or bad. It just is. That is what I want people to get.

Writing in a voice of someone that has bipolar illness is very tough. I wonder if the voice is consistent enough. The novel begins with a strong voice and I want that to continue throughout the novel when Gabrielle speaks. I don’t know that I have really pulled that off yet so that will be the thing that I work on next. I really want the voice to be there. That is so important.

On the other hand, there are books that I don’t get. I’ve come across stories that I cannot figure out for the life of me. They still exist and some of them are best sellers. So I guess, at the end of the day, some people will get it while others will not. That is just the way it is. No need to stop writing or try to please everyone. Just forge ahead and keep the flow going.


”Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.” ~George Orwell, "Why I Write," 1947