I started writing this entry last week after I solved the “unsolvable” “impossible” problems I was facing. I began this on July 9th and finished it tonight, or rather this morning, July 16th. At the time I started this entry I was grasping for a way to articulate the lessons I’d just been taught but couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it and only wrote a few paragraphs. On July 11th, sitting in the middle of a job training session the answer came to me and my search was over. I got that “ah-ha” moment and I knew that the message I’d received was exactly what I’d been searching for. You might not care but I’ve decided to share this story anyway.

Last Saturday (July 9th) I wrote this: The past few weeks have been rather eventful. Change is always tumultuous on some level, even if it is for the best. The thing that life and writing have in common is that if you keep going things work out. Those who forge on regardless of the obstacles placed in their way are the ones that get what they want and need. If you want life, or your writing to improve just keep the faith and things will blossom and evolve. Most of us want life to be on our exclusive terms. We want what we want whether we have worked hard or deserve the blessing we seek. I am guilty of this too. The other day I found myself asking that silly, self-righteous arrogant question: “Why me?” That spoiled, assumption that I should be exempt from something simply because I am Melanie Watson, always brings me back to reality.

In writing, and life, the most important aspect of success is faith. Are you willing to believe that you can be successful regardless of the obstacles in your way? When you run out of money or encounter a blank page, are you ready to throw your hands up in grace and believe that the right things will happen at the right time? It is a difficult task to breathe a sigh of relief and believe that whatever is happening will either be resolved or turn into something positive but it is essential for success. A few weeks ago I got a new job. After years of discouraging job interviews and dead-ends a ten minute phone interview turned into a job. After close to decade of looking for jobs that were even remotely related to my field of study, I spent ten minutes on the phone with people I’d never met face to face and half an hour after the phone call, I was offered the job. But what happened before I got that job? Well, about eight years of a massive job search filled with low paying jobs that demanded multiple interviews that resulted in rejection and disappointment. Years and years of working menial jobs while my degrees were sitting, dusty and unused, on a shelf in my closet. In fact, the week before I got the job I spent an entire day catching bus after bus to Provo where I wandered around aimlessly searching for a job site I was having an interview at. I never found the job site in Provo and after an eight-hour ordeal I returned home exhausted and discouraged. Yes, I was upset and defeated but I didn’t let that sentiment sit long in my soul. I allowed myself a few minutes of self-pity and anger and then I had to let it go. Things happen. People fall and get up again.


I still stand by all of that but there is something I have to add. On Monday I started training for a new job and I absolutely love it. Not only are my best skills and talents being called upon, my opinion, intelligence and abilities are respected. The other day this incredibly fascinating therapist came to talk to us about what the most important aspect of success is. She began by talking about how in the 1990s schools focused so much on building self esteem that they removed competition so none of the students would have hurt feelings. However, this did not make us more successful. Instead it created a generation of somewhat entitled individuals who don’t take criticism, constructive or otherwise, very well. The therapist went on to tell us that research now points to something else that is much more important than self-esteem when it comes to success: resilience. Knowing that no matter what happens you will bounce back and get through is the most constructive tool you can have in terms of being successful. Sure, there will always be people who seem to catch all the breaks in life…but they have the power of positive thinking on their side. They believe they will achieve things so they do. Life may look easy for those who seem to constantly succeed but it’s not. They are using resiliency.

What does this all have to do with writing? Everything!! Everything is about writing, which is always about life. I am busier than I’ve been in about two years but suddenly I have time to write. All of a sudden aspiring writers and people who are intrigued by my writing are coming into my life. Even when I can’t find the words I want I write and let the beauty of the creative struggle rage in my mind. I might not have the right word today, tomorrow or even next week but it will come because my mind will never let me stop searching for it. My novel it not published yet but my thoughts and words live on in this blog, in the carefully sculpted text messages I send and the journal entries I scrawl on scraps of paper. The desire and need to write is one that forges on even when I am not sure what to do with it. For me writing is like a distilled, pure form of love. It sustains me in the darkest hour. Whenever my world seems to be on the verge of ending all I have to do is pick up a pen and write. It has always been that way. It will always be that way.

My writing has shifted from reporting the pains of the mind and heart to examining ways to heal mental maladies and heartbreak. Life has shown me that with faith, honesty and dedication any mountain can be conquered. Survival is possible if we realize that obstacles are placed in our way so that we will truly appreciate our accomplishments. If I’d written Lives Lived in a few days and had no trouble getting it published, I don’t think it would mean as much as it does to me. When we truly love something or someone we don’t let go. We keep going even when it looks like there is no reason to try. In the face of doubts and disbelieve from others we walk on without entertaining their unfaithful opinions. I love writing and I think that this novel, Lives Lived is something the world needs right now. I don’t mean that in a grandiose way. In fact, even if the writing is terrible and few people enjoy the story the point the story makes is valuable. So even though I’ve worked 50 hours so far this week and have to be up early tomorrow morning ...tonight, I write.