Forgive And Don't Forget

So the morning and early afternoon have been extremely productive. First I decided that I needed to have some type of focus. If I had just started reading through random pieces of writing without any type of direction I could end up getting lost in the words. With that in mind I decided to focus on the high school years. Lives Lived begins in the present and stays there for some time. However, a phone begin the backwards trajectory that alternates between the past experiences of Gabrielle and her two loves. The goal is to show the similarities and the differences and to explain why it is imperative that Gabrielle goes back to Detroit after all these years of absence.

One of the things I’ve struggled with is how to bring Ian McAllister into the story. Originally I had a preface but I think that the scene would better be played out in the story opposed to having it in the beginning. Also, Ian McAllister does not appear again for some time. It is kind of distracting to have a character mentioned only to have them disappear. With that in mind I have decided to move the preface to another place in the book.

The other issue with Ian is that I don’t like him. He is a drunk who spends a great deal of time feeling sorry for himself. The way he is painted as an adult gives little reason for anyone to feel sympathy for him. That means people are not going to be wild about Gabrielle, the protagonist leaving her family to see about him. The thing about Ian is that there is a reason why he is the way he is today. He did not become a drunk because he was having a good time. He has identity struggles and trouble making decisions for himself so he kind of goes with the flow. This is what gets him in trouble.

I asked myself, why Ian McAllister? The answers are easy. He is a wonderful boy and at his core, he would like to stay honest and true but life gets in the way. Over time Ian holds on to lies because he is afraid of finding truth on his own. He just wants to do what is right and expected of him so he does not make any sudden moves or make offensive decisions. Ian ends up where he is by default. He never is the person behind the wheel.

Today I searched for the high school years. The good times that Ian and Gabrielle spent together. Friends betray friends all of the time. Sometimes the betrayal is a necessary step in the friendship. Many times, the person that does the betraying would never purposely hurt their friend. Being close, very close to someone can be extremely scary. When it gets hot and uncomfortable we often strike out and crawl back into our own little private comfort zone. That is what Ian does. He never, ever wants to hurt Gaby but he does not want to get hurt either. When it comes to someone else getting hurt or us risking our necks, most of the time we choose to save ourselves. The other person just has to deal with the consequences.

As I wrap up this writing session I think I understand Ian McAllister better than ever before. I guess I needed to forgive him for what he does to Gaby. I also need to remember that Gaby did some things to him. Relationships are a two way street and when they get messed up all parties are responsible. Reading over the high school years and stringing them together I realize that things were tough for Ian too. My heart has softened towards Ian McAllister and I’ve pulled 12 pages of story out of the pile of scenes. Darn good progress for three hours.