The Journey

I have not looked at my novel for months now but the churning of words is slowing creaking back into motion. It seems that without words I am not quite myself. Words are a piece of my personality a fiber in my being. Without them I am less than I should and could be. This is knowledge I’ve always had but now, as I go through a spiritual awakening, I am realizing that this is not something to be taken lightly. We can renew, refresh and alter ourselves but when you stop the flow of blood, we die. Cutting off the flow of words from my soul was similar to cutting off the flow of blood and enacted a form of death. I did it to try to live an easier life, to pursue love and activities that would bring forth more income and a million other reasons, none of which negated the most vital information I have-I was born to write. Without the words, true love, happiness, everything I want was completely unobtainable.

We can play around with a great deal of variables in life. Places, people and things but the one thing we cannot alter is the very essence of our being. At the core we are something and the name of that something we are is uttered to us when we are all alone in the dark struggling with whatever calamity has come our way. A force gives us our definition and we either accept it or reject it. We are what we are regardless of what we choose to do with the information. We can repress, dismiss or ignore what we are. But change it? No. Never.

In Catholic school they taught us about lay ministry. You don’t have to be Catholic to get the message here so don’t freak out and click off the page. Lay ministry, at its very basic level is preaching about what you know, love and believe in. If you are an environmentalist and you believe that saving the planet is in your hands that is your lay ministry. Carry that message to the masses, wear that banner on your sleeve and make sure that ever place or person you meet knows that saving the planet is what you were placed in this world to do. You never have to force anything on anyone, you just share the message, do what you can to make what you want so and sleep peacefully at night.

My lay ministry is writing. It is my purpose, goal and reason for being alive, etc. I am here to pass along the knowledge I have through words. My fiction, nonfiction, editorials, self-help and anything else I write must be powerful and true to my soul. This is my gift and I’m taking it on, willingly. My back is stronger than I ever imagined and I’m ready to give myself over to the words. I thought I owned the words but it turns out, they own me and will provide guidance to the place in which I am meant to be. I trust the words 100%.

On September 18th I will board a train and start a 41-hour trek out to Utah. It is a one-way ticket. I don’t know what I will find there but the words, the wisdom, calls me back to the place of my last great happiness. I am packing a few books, a couple of articles of clothing and my novel. Lives Lived is ready to tell me where it wants to take me and I am ready to go. It told me Salt Lake City is the place where we will commune next. I must oblige.