Writing....

One of my main reasons for coming here was to write. Well, here is the great news. My mind is being stimulated and the thoughts are many. I have so much I want to say and share with the world but I haven’t been as productive as I’d like to be.

Granted I’ve been here less than a week I was hoping to get right down to writing. Especially after being so productive on the train ride. I guess, looking back, I see how unrealistic that is. You can’t come to a beautiful place and just pick up where you left off work wise. I’m in awe of everything around me. Being here is great for my writing but it is also excellent for my brain. Before I write I have to think and thinking is the bulk of what I’ve been doing.

This morning I woke up with a flurry of words in my head. I started writing at nine and have just kept going. This is exactly what I want. I love to write so if it is going to be my sole support the hunger has to be there. I have to want to write more than anything else. Without the discipline and desire there is no way I can wake up in the morning and go to work in a completely uncontrolled environment. Here is something I’ve always known but am really starting to live. If you are a writer, you write no matter what else is going on in the world or your life. If you work a 60 -hour work week at your day job, you still come home and write. If you are in a beautiful, strange place, you explore, but you come home and write. This morning I woke up and the only urge, need, desire or necessity I had was to write. That’s it! That is what I’ve been waiting for!

Back in March I stopped submitting my novel to publishers. The submission processes were tedious and I have received a few gentle rejections, most of which simple said they weren’t accepting new work at this time, and I moved on to other things. I did not give up on my novel, Lives Lived, but I left it alone and tried to focus on freelance writing projects, other work and other endeavors. By July I wasn’t quite myself and I realized that writing isn’t just some part time hobby I can do when I please, it is a part of who I am. I am supposed to be writing. When I’m not writing, I am denying a vital piece of my soul.

That movie, Conquest of Everest that my mind keeps raving about, describes how George Mallory tries to go about his life without Everest. After the tragic death of several members of his climbing team, Mallory returned home to his family and kind of let Everest go for a while. Then one day, all of a sudden Everest is back in his mind and at 38 he sieges a final opportunity to conquer Everest. When asked why he wanted to climb this mountain Mallory responded with, “Because it’s there.”

Over the years I’ve returned to school several times to finish my teaching certificate, started a web design program, worked as a weight loss consultant and cook. I’ve pushed writing to the back burner several time but it keeps coming back, halting everything else in my life. When it appears I surrender completely. No matter how wonderful life is, if I’m not writing, it is incomplete. I can deny, suppress and neglect writing as much as I want but eventually it will be back to consume my life until my destiny is realized.