Whispers in the Night

Sleep is not coming tonight. I have completely thrown my sleep schedule off and I really have no one to blame but myself. I will try to write but I actually am tired and don’t think that much will come. Not to mention, the hours of writing have worn on the carpal tunnel and both wrist are tinkling and begging to rest. I have on my braces but they really only help if my hands are not pecking away at a computer. Oh well. If pain equals success then I will hurt as much as I need to.

Tonight I am antsy and nervous and really struggling with the fact that I am not completely done with Lives Lived. I want to be at the part where I tell people when it will be on the shelves. I have been really working hard and I know that the progress I’ve made is great but I’m not done yet. I can’t sleep because I’ve got these scenes floating around in my head and I want to make the final changes on them and say, hey this chapter is done. I feel like none of my chapters are exactly where I want them to be and even though many of them are close it is not enough on this night.

I am fretting about going back to work tomorrow. It sounds silly but I am kind of freaking out a bit about it and I don’t know why. The entire afternoon is free for writing and I’ve had no problem writing before work. However, now that I have tasted what it would be like to wake up in the morning and just worry about writing, I am so incredibly hooked. I love the way that the thoughts and ideas marinated throughout the past four days. Even on that ridiculously hot day things came over time. I had to clean and go shopping and do laundry before anything good came but when it came, it was well worth the wait.

I’ve taken the carpal tunnel stints off so there is NO stopping me now. I am into it and the writing must begin again. There are these ideas that are nagging at the back of my mind and I simply have to get them out. This time it is Gabrielle and Raphael. When I began this book I had a much different view of family and forgiveness. I will fully admit that there was a bunch of hate and rage in my heart. Things have really changed over the past few years and I seek out peace and love wherever I go. Not to mention, there are happy parts in life. Brothers and sisters bicker but they also love one another in the end. Gabrielle and Raphael deserve a better relationship than the one I have drawn up for them. They have more to say than I am giving them credit for. There is more to the story and they are ready to tell me about it right now. I am exhausted, yawning and my body wants to sleep but the mind will hear nothing of it. So here we go.